That Gut Feeling

I have recently heard that the "gut feeling" is in fact a very complex series of links in your memory, instead of a simple feeling.  The links are all built around experience, which makes me wonder how accurate your gut can be when dealing with new situations all the time.  It is not instinct, it is something that would have to be constantly changing and evolving and in turn making your gut reaction different today then it would be if the same thing occurred tomorrow.  For most of my life, I have been rather oblivious to my "gut" and its advice.  I have preferred to run with the moment and let things happen.  Things have changed.  I have found that there were times when I would get that "gut voice" giving me warnings and I would ignore it.  I started to listen a little more closely to its sage like advice.  After all, cops do it.  Right?  But then this new bit of information comes in about experience and I am lead to this point (and I think I might have one).
And, I am confused.

I have begun to believe that this gut reaction has its place and there are also areas where it does not belong.  If it is based on experience and is changing and evolving based on what you do and learn, it can be an invaluable tool at work as a beat cop trying to make it good with the boss (and other life areas as well, I'm sure).  I wonder, though, at the effectiveness of the gut in relationships beyond the surface, beyond the coworker, acquaintance or common thug you might be questioning in the biggest case of you life.
If you are trying to build something with that cute girl you met, is it fair to listen to your gut?
I guess what I am wondering is, if you based your judgement of a situation with someone new - for example the have received a text from a guy friend and have assured you it is just a friend - on things that have happened in past relationships - for example that "friend" was in fact someone she had been messing around with - then your reaction would be that she was lying and you might yell or fight or tell her to fuck off.  If this new cutie was telling the truth, then your gut is an ass hole and might have cost you something pretty amazing.  And this is my struggle.
I have said before that it is a shitty thing that we tend to do when we dump our baggage into the unwitting arms of our latest crush.  They are not the people we have dated.  They did not do the things that have formed our insecurities.  There are patterns that people as a whole follow, and with time and conversation we can learn which of those are relevant to the person we are talking to.  But even then, people are all different.
My issue, to just get it out so that I can see it, is that a woman I am seeing has a man who is a friend.  They text.  In one of my past relationships, that man would have been the "friend" even though she said he was a friend.  So, now I bring that with me.  My experience tells me that I should not trust her.  But I have female friends who are just friends.  Can't a woman have the same thing?  She could look at me and say, "in the past a man lied to me about his female friends, so fuck you."  Her experience would tell her that I was a dog and that I was probably nailing these women.  I'm not, but her gut says I am.  So it would be unfair of me to do that to her. 

This is my brain.  I have been traveling this latest road for a few days now and it is getting tiring.  I realize that the best advice is to let it go.  She has said he is a friend and you have decided to trust her.  So, trust her.  But my gut has been a bit of a bitch about this one.  Even though it is letting off after I talked to her about it, my brain is still stirring the pot. 
The struggle is letting new experience take the place of old, bad experience.  By letting the new stuff in, a lot of that old stuff can be seen for what it is - one person who did stuff you didn't like.  It's not everyone.  It's not this new woman who seems to be really cool.  It becomes a creation inside your head and like most things that live up there, it is not real. We have to let it go or we can't move on. 
Letting go is not as easy as just saying it, though. 

I never used to have these insecurities.  It is strange to see me this way.

Moods Made Simple...ish

My moods seem to be like passing weather.  They are changing and sometimes unstable, can be destructive or can promote happiness and growth. They are also often dependent on how the world outside me is shifting.  My environment moves and my mood can change with it.  People in my life can adjust my happiness like a switch, though they may not know it.  I don't like being this way.
I have come to believe that this kind of mentality is far to unstable to allow me to maintain a sense of myself, a sense of happiness.  If true happiness is really rooted inside ourselves, then I have a lot of work to do. 

I have struggled for a long time with being happy, though it is not too far of a stretch to say that I am happier now than I have been in a long time.  Looking at the events from the past few years, one might wonder if it is because of the things that I have changed around me.  Was it leaving my marriage?  Was it the storm that I survived?  No.....and yes. 
My relationships were not the problem, though coming out of them and living to see the end of the tunnel I was in has shown me a few things.  My wife did not make me unhappy.  I was already unhappy.  The woman who rode through hell with me did not take me there, I allowed myself to go there.  My family issues and deeply seeded paternal problems are not really the cause of depression or sadness.  It is the reaction to those things that brings me down.  I know that I have written about this before, but I keep seeing it.  An event is just an event.  It is neither happy nor sad.  It is simply what it is.  Our clouded and complex minds make it into a clouded and complex thing. 
I wonder how simple things would be if we let them be only what they are. 

But how does that apply to emotions?  In theory, emotions are not "real" in the sense that they are not tactile and they are interpreted differently and felt at different times for everyone.  We can't pin down "happy" and say that it feels like this and happens at these times and it is this way all the time for everyone.  They are not that black and white. 
So, what are they?  What are our moods? 
I don't have an answer.  My thought is that they are reactions based on reactions based on reactions and on and on.  The smell of baking bread makes me smile.  The scent is pleasant.  The warmth from the oven feels good.  I get excited at thought of eating it.  I think about my mom baking bread and it is comforting.  I think about my Grandmother's house.  For me, it is very positive.  But what if I were to bake bread and the oven caused a fire and my house burnt down?  Would my happiness be as true the next time I smelled baking bread, or would it now be tainted?  My reaction would change and would become complex. My new reaction would be negative and the smell of bread could cause anxiety.
I have to believe that if our moods and emotions are reactions, then we can change them.  I can choose to slow down and look at what I am feeling and why I am feeling it.  In doing that, could I then become stronger within myself and able to have a modicum of control over the direction my mood swings? 
I believe yes. 
I believe it is not easy, but that it is that simple. 

My experience over the past year, as I have talked and reflected on myself, has lead me to a place where I can catch myself reacting to situations or acting in a certain way.  I don't always, but when I do I can ask myself why.  It is powerful, I believe.  When I feel depression coming on, I look at it.  I analyze it.  I break it down.  Sometimes it works, sometimes the mood is too strong of too confusing or too complex.  When it does work, the clouds break.  When it doesn't, I know I have a lot of work to do, still, but I learn something every time. 
We live in a fast paced world where we are forced to react quickly.  It is hard to stop and look at the trees in the forest, but I think it is important.  I know that if I lose sight of the trees for too long I get lost.  I think I will slow down more often.  I believe that doing so is part of my answer.