Passing Good Investments

I have a shameful confession to make.
I read the following quote and realized something.....

"The secret of a full life is to live and relate to others as if they might not be there tomorrow, as if you might not be there tomorrow. It eliminates the vice of procrastination, the sin of postponement, failed communications, failed communions."
     - Anaïs Nin

If I think someone is going to be gone (not dead, but out of my life in some way) I would prefer that they would just leave so I can move on.  I don't want the waiting and anticipating of that event.  I want it done.  I feel like this is something about myself that I should change.  It is also something that brings a lot of insight into something that has been bothering me. 

Yesterday, I wrote about trust issues.  Last night, I talked about trust issues.  She asked me why it mattered what "might be".  I didn't really know how to answer that. 
I think I know now. 
I get all ruffled about cheating and not knowing because if it is happening, I want to know so I can get out.  I don't want to waste my time.  That outweighs all the other stuff that would come with that kind of betrayal.  I wasted my time.  I guess my view of time has changed a bit.  As I get older I begin to see that it slips away rather quickly and as it slips away, I want to know that I am spending it as best I can.  I don't want to waste it on someone else that I will find had been sneaking around on me.  And the I realize that by worrying about that, by focusing on what might be, I am missing out on what is.  This is also a massive waste of time. 
Last night, my girlfriend said that I was missing out on a lot of great stuff by worrying about hypothetical situations.  She is very right. 

If you are like me, you focus on the bad stuff too often.  If you are like me, you are missing out on some really good stuff.  This is sad.  I think that the kick in the pants for not treating people and situations as if they might not be around tomorrow is that you end up missing out on really good stuff now.  That is the trade off an it is not evenly sided.  It's like missing out on a great investment because you got screwed by Madoff.

Last night, after we had talked, I vowed to make that change.  I am making it.  I am also changing my mindset about people.  I will no longer push them out the door when they say they are going.  I will enjoy them while I have them, up until the moment they leave through whichever door they use.