It's my birthday. I had forgotten when I woke up this morning. Thankfully facebook messages reminded me or I would have gone the whole day without realizing that I am older.
Funny thing, I don't feel older.
I used to believe that when I was an adult, I would "feel" like an adult. I would look at parents and couldn't help but get the impression that they feel as old as they are. Even now, I look at people older than me and can't help but to think that I will "feel" 40 or 50. I kind of think this is not true.
I often pass for 28. I usually feel 25. My hair is graying, but my heart is still young. I believe that age is a state of body, not mind. The mind has no age. It may mature, but it is always as young as you choose it to be. There isn't much we can do about our bodies falling apart, but we can do anything we want to keep ourselves young. For me, feeling old tends to mean feeling slow and boring. It means not enjoying life. It means not feeling like you used to feel when you could burst through the front door, leap off the porch steps chased with peels of laughter when your friends came flying off the porch after you.
It means feeling the weight of the world.
I may not be throwing any doors open so that I can leap off of steps, but I feel like I want to sometimes. Being young means wanting to play, for whatever that means to you. It means laughing from deep down. It means not taking things too seriously all the time. It means looking outside, seeing the sun and thinking how beautiful instead of "dear lord, I have to mow the lawn." Being young means seeing promise in every day.
At least, that is what it means to me.
Time as a measurement is made up. It's not real. Therefore, I can be as "old" or as "young" as I want. I would like to believe that, even when my teeth are falling out and I can barely walk, I will always be young.
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