I love the day after a fog lifts.
When I wake up and the feelings of melancholy that color and distort every aspect of my life have moved on, the relief is beyond words. I can breathe again. I can see again. I can enjoy again. It's like the first warm breeze in April. I love it. With ease, I step out of my head and laugh again without wondering why I am laughing or whether the laughing is good or bad. I can just laugh.
I went out last night and ate and drank and lived in the moment with person I was with and there were no preconceptions or assumptions. It was simple and easy. Perhaps it is more accurate to say that I was simple and easy. Moments are just moments, the weight we feel in them is the weight we put on them. I know that it is easy to say this now, after I have stepped away from the self directed tragedy I seem to enjoy living in from time to time. Every step is a step forward.
The only bad part is that I look at my past entries and shake my head. I don't really like how I seem to have traded my testosterone in for an extra dose of estrogen.
Testosterone keeps things simple.
Simple is good.
No comments:
Post a Comment