Obstacle/Path Enigma

I think a lot of religion/spirituality/motivational writings include a version of the belief that everything that you experience is for a reason.  Since all things are learning experiences, I suppose this is true.  Within this vein of thought, I am currently swimming, or maybe splashing about in a seizure-like dog paddle.  My challenge is, and may be for a long time, trust.  I know that I write about this fairly frequently as of late and that is because it is almost number one on the list of things that keeps me awake at night or that draws my focus during the day.

These trust issues come from a past place, both distant and recent.  I have a hard time trusting my girlfriend because of things she did and things that happened way before she came in to my life.  I wonder if these things will carry on in to every relationship I am in.  This thought has kept me from running.  If the issues are inside me, independent of the person I am with, then the problem is in me and I can't escape it.  I can only deal with it.
But how?

I have been trying meditation.  I work daily to be in the moment and to live with a clear head that is present.  When I find myself meditation regularly, much of the noise of daily thoughts clears up and leaves behind the deep level of noise.  This is where my anxiety and paranoia live.  They are much harder to quiet down.  This is when I begin to question everything in my relationship.  This is when my heart goes into the grip of depression.  This is when said relationship suffers, at least on my end, because I begin to wonder if it is worth it.  Part of me recognizes that, because this seems to be a constant issue, I should just move on.  But I believe that this woman holds something great for me.  I feel it in my gut.  I don't want to toss it away until I am feel differently.  Writing that makes me question it, but that is not the point here.

Once upon a time, I was a guy who trusted first and questioned later.  I am now the opposite, so when I give my trust but find it challenged, I don't know how to deal with that.  How do I build that trust up again?
It is within this question that my learning experience, that my "thing that happens for a reason" lies.  If I can get over this, I have learned something valuable and have strengthened a relationship.  If I can't, well, I don't know what.

I suppose it is all about communication.  Talking it out would be best.  It is in that that I find fear.  Fear that bringing it up will break us up.  Once again, fear rears its ugly head.  I wonder if that is the reason to do it, because if nothing else, I will have faced something I am afraid of.

I have no answer right now.  Maybe I just needed to write this out to see it from another angle.

"The obstacle is the path"
       - Zen proverb

This was posted on http://lazyyogi.org today.  Kind of fitting.
“The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.”

—	Ernest Hemingway

(edited 11/01/12)