Self-Righteous Douchebaggery

I am guilty of doing what I hate.
Judging.  Self-righteous thought.  Being a hypocritical douche bag.
I fall into this little trap a lot, I think.  Being a self-proclaimed "raised Catholic" person, I tend to project those feelings onto Christians as a whole.  I hate that I do it and I apologize.  I have found a path that veers off from the religion that raised me and I think that I look back with some disdain.  Perhaps there are feelings of betrayal and disappointment that bring these thoughts to the surface.  I am disappointed in Christianity for not giving me what it seemed to promise.
Answers.
I took physics in High School because I thought it would give me answers to things like "how does gravity work."  It didn't.  It gave me a bunch of numbers and equations that, to me, were nothing more than numbers and equations.  My mind doesn't easily work that way.  That doesn't mean that physics doesn't provide answers, it means that it didn't provide answers in a way that made sense to me.
In the same sense, Catholicism failed me.  Yes, I realize the pompousness of that statement.  At the time that I began to turn away from the church, that is how I felt.  I know differently now.
For nearly 13 years I was a solid Catholic boy.  I went to a Catholic school where I was an altar boy.  I read the bible cover to cover multiple times.  I prayed at night.  I asked God for strength and prayed the rosary.  I believed.  I had one day of anxiety and doubt and I needed guidance, I needed God.  I rode my bike to the church hoping to sit and listen to whatever message he chose to give.  Reaching for the door to my salvation and it was locked.  I was crushed and angry.  I couldn't get in to the one place I had been told I could really talk to God.  Even though it wasn't his fault, I blamed him.  How could he lock me out? 
The next time I went to church, I looked around at all the people praying.  I could hear the drone of the voices as they followed the instructions of the priest like robots.  How many of them believed what they were saying?  How many would go home feeling better while they proceeded to sin all over again?  And so it went.
I began to try and find my own answers.
For me, Christianity has not been one.  Perhaps it is because I am not open to it.  Perhaps our minds accept answers that we want to find.  We stumble upon a book that on Monday we would not have taken a second glance at, but on Tuesday we are in the state of mind that makes us curious.  So, I have come to a pseudo-conclusion that there are no right answers.  Assuming this statement is true, than what the hell makes my truths any better than anyone else?
So, as I read about Christian groups attempting to use religion to enforce their beliefs and politics on others, I struggle.  I struggle because I know that what I believe is not what everyone else believes.  What I believe is not better than what anyone else believes.  I judge the news-worthy Christians condemning gays and lesbians to lives of inequality.  I self-righteously believe that I am better than Rush Limbaugh because I feel he is ignorant.  I am hypocritical because I do the same things to those people that they are doing to others.
I am no better than they.  They are no better than I.
It really is a struggle for a couple of reasons.  One - not all Christians are like that.  I am judging the group based on a few people and it is difficult to see the trees amongst the forest.  I have a feeling that most of the people who use the religion to pass judgement are not really all that Christian.  Two - I am in no position to see myself as better than anyone else, yet I feel like I judge them in order to make myself feel better about my choices.  It is a source of validation to see that the Buddhist thoughts that I am reading are enlightening and full of hope while the words or these Christians are negative and hateful.  It helps me feel like I am making the right choice.  I use my new beliefs incorrectly.  Instead of just using them to lift my own spirit, I am guilty of using them to justify my prejudice.  That is not right. 

Maybe that is why people judge others.  We need to look down on people to raise ourselves up in our own eyes.  Are we all really that self-doubting?
It seems like I am.

So, how does one change that?

I suppose it involves believing in oneself, confidence in what you are striving for and a realization of modesty and humility.
The question then becomes, how does one get those things?