The Anxiety Whisperer

I have a plan.

Dealing with my anxiety is a bit overwhelming.  I can feel a tightening on my heart and a lump in my throat.  I recognize it every time.  This anxiety is like a stray dog, a pit bull, I have decided.  It is not intrinsically cruel.  It is just a puppy and whether or not it attacks you is based on how you treat it.  Like all dogs, Anxiety (the pit bull, you see) needs a pack leader.  It will take over, if you let it, and will tear up your house, shit on your carpets, attack your friends, eat all your food, and sleep in your bed.  I often allow this kind of behavior, as we all well know.  However, if you take a calm and commanding stand, the dog will submit, roll over on its back, and be your bitch. 

My hope, or theory, is that by approaching the anxiety or the fear this way I will be able to gain a modicum of control.  It runs my life sometimes and gets in the way of me having a good time.  It’s like a dog that I have to clean up after once a week.  I would love to take it to the pound, but like a pet it has become a part of me. 

So, here is the plan. 

When Anxiety starts acting up, I breathe deeply and slowly and return to the moment.  I calmly look at it and avoid anger or frustration because that little bastard feeds off that shit.  Then I try to master it by looking at it.  I don’t know how to carry this part into my creatively awesome metaphor, but I will look at its root cause.  What is it that is pissing Anxiety off?  Why do I feel that way about what I am seeing?  Do I need to feel that way?  And I breathe the whole time.  Sometimes I can make that shhht sound that the Dog Whisperer makes and things calm down.  Other times I need to take him for a walk and burn off the extra energy.  

I believe that this method is my meditation.  It makes the anxiety and the fear a cute little puppy, and we all love cute puppies.  It also forces me to take breaths and act in the way that I keep reading about.  Take a step back.  Look at it, but don’t let it take control. 

Maybe I am being over optimistic or too simplistic.  I don’t know.  I have to do something, though.