My Rearview Mirror

Let go

I stare at those two tiny but powerful words and I have a hard time understanding them.  What does it mean to let go?  How do we let go of something?  Is it as simple as a decision?  It is easy enough for us to tell people that the way to heal and move on is to let go.  Let go of the bad feelings and the experiences and move on.  Part of allowing ourselves to be detached consists of letting go, or maybe more accurately not holding on in the first place.  Perhaps the challenge lies in overcoming a way of thinking that I have followed for a long time.  

We are made up of the experiences we have had.

This is true, I think.  We experience, learn from it, grow and repeat.  Looking back at the things that have happened in our lives, it can be apparent why we do the things we do.  So, if we let go of experiences, do we forget them?  Is that even possible?  Or is it more that we look at the experience for what it was?  Words spoken are words spoken.  Our reaction to them is something separate.  In the same way, something that happens is neither good nor bad.  It simply is.  However we decide to react to it, we learn. 

Letting go, then, is the act of getting past the emotions that were present.  The anger, the frustration, the negativity are all in the past.  They are no longer reality.  Does that then mean that we also let go of the positive emotions? 

I think so.   

It is strange to say that, but to hold on to any emotion is living in the past.  Being that person who had their best years in high school has never seemed like a good thing, and perhaps that is why.  I think that part of being human is living life and enjoying things as they happen, learning from all experiences and loving the people around us.  When those things move into your rear view, let them go.  The horizon is our destination.  I don’t believe that it would be correct to say that it is damaging to look fondly on the pictures in our memories.  Getting together with old friends and laughing about the stupid shit you did together is powerful and bonding and part of what makes a great relationship.  It is important, however, to not dwell on that stuff. 

There was a part of my life when I spent a lot of time looking at what life was like for me when I was in my early 20’s.  What an amazing time.  There was freedom and a sense of possibility.  But I kept looking at those years, the people, the partying, and I lost sight of what was in front of me.  I kept my attention behind me and ended up crashing.  I have spent the last few months trying to get my focus off the bad that came out of that crash.  Looking at it, I have spent a lot of time looking at my history and have missed chances to really enjoy what I have now.  

Maybe that is what it means to let go.  

I feel like I should apologize for the disjointed rambling that this post seems to have.  It was a culmination of questions and musings.  But I think I have learned something, made the water a little clearer.  That is always a good thing.