Choice and Need

Is it not better to want to be with someone than to need to be with them? 

When I had this state of mind, I was light and unencumbered by the pains of love.  It was a joy to feel the fluttering of the heart.  For a short time I was the latter.  I felt a need to be with someone.  That was not a good time for me.  They were my breath and without them I felt like I would die; codependent.  There are a lot of other influences that were involved, but I believe that the need was the water for what was a very difficult time in my life. 

I also think that I would rather be wanted than needed. 

If I can live without something, but choose to live with it, does the fact that it is a choice not make it more powerful?  I can choose anything, but I choose that.  Someone can choose anyone, but they choose you.  We have no choice but to breathe, but we can always choose who to be with.  I suppose there is a certain comfort in someone needing you because there is less chance they will leave you.  But there is weakness in that.  At that point, you need them too.  You cannot be truly happy because without them you do not feel whole.  

But you are whole.  You are everything you need to be. 

Thinking on this, I find a great happiness in the people who are in my life.  They choose to share this with me and I choose to share it with them.  Of the billions of people on the planet, we have decided to buddy up and be together in this great fucked up wonderful brilliant powerful awe inspiring experience.  And if one chooses to leave, that is okay because I have all I need to be happy within the one person who will never go away.  Myself. 

He is an alright guy. 

Namaste

p.s.  Don, you are definitely one of the people I choose to share this shit with.  You are a great friend and a great human being.